The aromantic asexual identity—often shortened to aroace—describes individuals who experience little to no romantic or sexual attraction. While society often assumes that everyone desires both romantic love and sexual connection, aromantic asexual people challenge that norm in powerful and valid ways.
Being aromantic asexual means navigating the world through non-traditional forms of connection, affection, and fulfillment. Aroace individuals may still crave deep emotional bonds, meaningful friendships, and community—but without the drive for romance or sex that many others experience.
This article explores what it means to be aromantic asexual, how attraction works for those who identify this way, and why visibility and understanding of this identity are crucial for building a more inclusive world.
Aromantic asexual individuals—often referred to as aroace—experience little to no romantic or sexual attraction. While these may be two separate identities, some people identify as both, finding that this combined label best reflects how they relate to others.
Breaking Down the Terms
Aromantic: A person who doesn’t experience romantic attraction, or experiences it rarely or under specific conditions.
Asexual: A person who doesn’t experience sexual attraction, or does so infrequently or contextually.
Choose the identity that best describes your attraction experience
Together, aromantic asexuality describes a unique orientation that is not defined by absence, but by how someone experiences connection, intimacy, and identity in a way that may not include romance or sex.
A Complete Identity
Being aroace is not about being “broken,” “lonely,” or “missing out.” It’s about understanding that everyone experiences attraction differently, and that meaningful, fulfilling relationships can exist outside traditional romantic or sexual norms.
The aromantic asexual identity is real, valid, and worthy of visibility and respect.
Understanding Attraction Types
One of the most important aspects of understanding the aromanticasexual identity is recognizing that romantic and sexual attraction are not the only forms of connection. Many people—especially those who are aroace—experience other types of attraction that are equally valid and meaningful.
Romantic Attraction: The desire to form a romantic relationship, which may include emotional intimacy, dating, or romantic gestures.
Sexual Attraction: The desire to engage in sexual activity with someone, often linked to physical desire or sexual chemistry.
Aromantic asexual individuals typically do not experience one or both of these forms of attraction—but that doesn’t mean they don’t experience attraction at all.
Other Forms of Attraction Aroace People May Experience
Aesthetic Attraction: Finding someone visually or stylistically pleasing, without wanting a romantic or sexual relationship.
Sensual Attraction: Wanting physical closeness like cuddling, holding hands, or touch, without sexual or romantic intent.
Platonic Attraction: A strong pull toward deep friendship or emotional connection, often described as wanting someone in your life in a committed, non-romantic way.
These forms of attraction are central to how many aromantic asexual people build meaningful relationships—proving that human connection doesn’t have to follow traditional romantic or sexual templates.
While the term aromantic asexual (or aroace) describes people who identify as both aromantic and asexual, it’s important to remember that romantic and sexual orientation are separate. Not everyone who is one is necessarily the other.
You Can Be:
Asexual but Romantic: May not experience sexual attraction, but still desires romantic relationships.
Aromantic but Sexual: May experience sexual attraction but has no interest in romantic relationships.
Aromantic Asexual (Aroace): Doesn’t experience romantic or sexual attraction—and often forms connection through other types of bonds.
What is my romantic and sexual orientation?
Building Fulfilling Lives Outside Romance and Sex
Many aromantic asexual individuals create deep, meaningful relationships through:
Friendships
Chosen family
Queerplatonic relationships (QPRs)—committed, non-romantic, non-sexual partnerships based on trust, emotional intimacy, and shared life goals
These relationships are just as valid and fulfilling as romantic or sexual ones, proving that love and connection can take many beautiful, nontraditional forms.
Challenges and Misconceptions
Despite growing awareness, aromantic asexual individuals still face persistent misunderstandings and invalidation. These misconceptions can create feelings of isolation, pressure, or confusion—especially in a world that prioritizes romantic and sexual connection.
False. This assumption suggests that being aromantic asexual is temporary or incomplete. In reality, identity isn’t defined by timing—it’s about how someone consistently experiences (or doesn’t experience) attraction.
“You’re broken or cold.”
False. Aroace people are fully capable of love, empathy, and emotional depth—they simply form connections in non-romantic and non-sexual ways. They often build incredibly strong bonds through friendship, trust, and shared values.
“Everyone wants romance and sex.”
False. Attraction isn’t universal—it exists on a spectrum. While many people do experience romantic or sexual desire, aromantic asexual individuals remind us that fulfillment doesn’t have to include either. Their identities challenge norms and expand what human connection can look like.
By confronting these myths, we create space for aroace individuals to feel seen, respected, and affirmed—on their own terms.
Relationships and Emotional Connection
Being aromantic asexual doesn’t mean someone lives without love or meaningful relationships. In fact, many aroace individuals form deep, lasting bonds—they just don’t follow traditional romantic or sexual patterns.
Queerplatonic relationships (QPRs)—deeply committed, non-romantic, non-sexual connections that can involve shared homes, finances, or life goals
These relationships are built on emotional intimacy, mutual trust, and authentic understanding—proving that love exists in many beautiful, valid forms beyond romance or sex.
Aromantic asexual individuals are a vital part of the broader LGBTQIA+ community. They exist on both the asexual and aromantic spectrums, contributing to the diversity of how people experience attraction, identity, and relationships.
Inclusion and Representation Matter
Aroace people often face:
Invisibility or erasure, even within queer spaces
The misconception that they’re “not queer enough”
A lack of representation in media, education, and advocacy
Creating safe, inclusive spaces where aromantic asexual voices are heard and respected is essential. Visibility helps others discover their identities and validates experiences that challenge the mainstream narrative of what relationships “should” look like.
Coming Out and Self-Acceptance
For many, discovering the aromanticasexual identity is a moment of clarity, comfort, and relief. It can help explain feelings of difference or disconnection from societal expectations around dating, romance, or sex.
Navigating the Coming Out Process
Coming out as aroace can look different for everyone. Some tips include:
Learn the language to describe your experience confidently
Start with trusted friends or supportive communities
Share resources to help others understand
Set boundaries and don’t feel pressured to explain more than you’re comfortable with
Whether you choose to come out publicly or not, the most important step is embracing the right to define your identity and relationships on your own terms.
How to Be an Ally to Aroace Individuals
Supporting someone who identifies as aromantic asexual (aroace) begins with respect, openness, and a willingness to listen—even if their experience is different from your own.
Practical Ways to Be a Supportive Ally
Respect the identity, even if it challenges your understanding of relationships. Aroace individuals know themselves best.
Avoid assumptions that romance or sex are essential parts of life. Statements like “you’ll change your mind” or “you just haven’t found the right person” are invalidating.
Validate aromantic asexual experiences in conversations about love, connection, and identity. Aroace voices deserve to be included in discussions around LGBTQ+ diversity and human intimacy.
Celebrate chosen family, friendships, and queerplatonic relationships as legitimate and meaningful forms of love.
Foundations of Aroace Understanding
Being an ally means affirming that all ways of experiencing (or not experiencing) attraction are valid, and that connection comes in many beautiful forms.
Conclusion
The aromantic asexual identity reminds us that love, attraction, and intimacy are far more diverse than mainstream culture suggests. Aroace individuals forge deep, meaningful connections that don’t rely on romantic or sexual attraction, proving that relationships can thrive beyond conventional norms.
By embracing and uplifting aromantic asexual identities, we move closer to a world where every person’s way of relating, loving, and existing is seen as valid. Human connection is not one-size-fits-all, and that’s something worth celebrating.
Let’s continue to honor identity, challenge assumptions, and create space for all expressions of love and self.
